29-year-old man makes friends pay for dinner even though he knows the restaurant's owner, they reprimand him for refusing to let them eat for free: 'I didn't want to take advantage'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 25, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

If your friend were the owner of a really nice restaurant, what would be your course of action every time you went out to eat there?

Would you expect to never pay for a meal there because you know the owner, or would you always insist on paying because you want to support your friend and their business?

We feel like a truly good friend will always want to support their friends and support their businesses, whatever it may be. So if we were to eat at a friend's restaurant, not only would we feel awkward to expect a free meal, but we would want to pay even if we were offered it for free.

That was the reason the man in the story below didn't even want the owner to know he was at their restaurant. He knew that if the owner saw him, they would not want him to pay, and that did not sit well with him. However, after he and his friends left the restaurant, having split the bill between all of them, they discovered that they could have gotten the meal for free, and the fact that they paid did not sit well with them…

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  • 01
    Friends Paying for Meal in Restaurant
    via macniak

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITAH for making my friends pay for their dinner even though I could have had it done for free?

    My (29M) childhood best friend's dad (about 60M) owns a restaurant in my hometown. My actual childhood best friend (Tony, 29M) now lives in another country so I don't see him that often.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 03
    Tony's parents and my family (as well as myself) all still live in our hometown so I run into his dad a lot.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 04
    Our parents are also pretty good friends. I visit his restaurant pretty often, and whenever he sees me, he's always giving me free food and telling me not to pay but I always feel guilty because I know he's trying to retire soon (from the discussions I've had with Tony).
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 05
    I went to dinner at his restaurant with 3 of my other friends (all 20s/30s). It was kinda crowded and I know that his dad is usually not there at night and has his staff running the place so I thought I could avoid him.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 06
    But I was wrong, he was there. Halfway through our meal I saw his dad, but luckily he didn't see us as the place was crowded.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 07
    We paid the check (split the bill 4 ways) and got up to leave the place.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 08
    On our way out his dad saw me and ran up and gave me a hug.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 09
    Then he (in a joking voice) said that he was upset at me for not telling him I was there.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 10
    And he said "had I known you were bringing your friends I would have never made you and your friends pay!".
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 11
    splitting the bill
    via PeopleImages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    I said that was sweet and all and just made small talk and left. On the way back to my place one of my friends (Alex, 31M) got really ticked off and said "what the fu*k dude, why did you make us pay when you could've gotten it for free".
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 13
    And then I told him it made me uncomfortable and his dad was trying to retire.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 14
    Alex said that's not my business and I had no right to make everyone pay when they could've had the option of getting it for free, and I shouldn't have made that decision for them.
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 15
    jrm1102 NTA - not at all. It would almost make you an AH for assuming youd get a free meal for the group. Your friend was being rude and greedy.
    via jrm1102
  • 16
    OP ThrowRA271891581 The thing is that our families are extremely close. When I was in college, his dad even gave me their old car they weren't using anymore when mine got totaled. Literally every single time I go in the restaurant, he gives me twice the food I ordered without me paying a cent. So I knew without much doubt that he'd give us the meal for free if he knew I was there (which is why I went at a time that he would be less likely to be there). Because I don't want to take advantage, you
    via ThrowRA271891581
  • 17
    Shot_Help7458 You mean his former friend
    via Shot_Help7458
  • 18
    DenizenKay NTA. Alex is an entitled dick.
    via DenizenKay
  • 19
    2gigch1 Many people think friends should always get a discount. I believe real friends pay full price to their friends out of respect. The idea of shorting my friends, especially in their place of business, is wrong.
    via 2gigch1
  • 20
    FormSuccessful1122 NTA Your friend is a jackass. You should ALWAYS pay, even if you know the owner. Otherwise it's like expecting someone else to pick up your tab when out with friends. That is their business and you should never go in looking for free shit. Imagine if everyone they know did that.
    via FormSuccessful1122
  • 21
    NTA Spoedi-Probes If you had taken the offer and got the food for free. Alex would expect to go to that restaurant every time you go for dinner. And he would expect free food everytime you visit as well.
    via Spoedi-Probes
  • 22
    likeitiswhatever NTA obviously we a long standing relationship with this man that does NOT involve your other friends. Which are very entitled to expect a free meal. On the other hand... guys you are in your 30s. Grow up.
    via likeitiswhatever
  • 23
    Ancient-Lake4804 So basically they don't want to pay for a meal because you are the one who knows the owner. This is so freaking entitled. It's not just the owner who gets that money, and free doesn't actually help anyone in that business. This means the servers won't get paid, tips won't be given. God forbid you want to be a mature person and not mooch off of other people's success, definitely NTA.
    via Ancient-Lake4804
  • 24
    FriendlyMum NTA and at 31 years old your 'friend' needs to grow up. Paying for a nice evening out with friends is a priceless privilege and worth the money. As for your friends dad, he's kind and generous, but your paying once in a while, especially when taking in a group of friends, is perfectly fine so that he's not too out of pocket and your friends also don't start expecting free handouts. If the restaurant is packed and pumping though, he might not be hard up on money. Just have a quiet wor
    via FriendlyMum

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aita owner server work friends paying reddit story restaurant bill entitled food Reddit money check entitled people
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